Month: September 2014

Paper World

(Another extract from my journal.)

July 12th, 2014 (Canadian time zone)

The world is too big. So many faces I’ve seen, but I won’t even remember half of them.

We care so much about how people view us as, we forget to enjoy ourselves in the process. I try, I really do. But it’s been this way for so long, it’s hard to walk away and start again. But once you leave, it’s the best feeling in the world.

Sometimes I can’t help but wonder – am I a paper girl? Are we living in a paper world? We judge everyone’s appearances so much. Some deny it, but it’s something that just can’t be helped. Once we see someone do something we deem as unworthy, we give them an unworthy label, even if we have no idea about the person’s story. It’s programmed into us. And as the older we get, we forget that they’re human too, with thoughts and feelings. We focus on ourselves, because we are foreign, we feel foreign in other people’s shoes; and it’s all just too much for us. We are not fearless, we will never be; but some of us can be courageous.

That’s pretty much it. As you can see, I’m not exactly a happy person in my journal. But then, who are we to judge anyways? We all have our reasons in which we think it’s the right thing, or some of us are just too lost in the moment to realize. We’re to blame anyways, some may disagree, but as long as you’re involved, some part of you is to blame for what has happened. Because without you there, the event may not have occurred as it has. We will never know, and let’s hope we never find out. We cannot hide the truth forever. So do one thing today, tell someone, anyone, one truth that you have been worrying about. Whether it’s big or small, it might just lift up the weight off your shoulders.

Sincerely,

The Anon

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Victory!!!

So we had our first soccer match today and we kicked the other team’s ass 6-0. Our coach told us to stop scoring after 6 to not let them feel horrible. Oops.

Other than that, it’s been pretty chill. Everything is so busy though and I’m a bit pissed at my roommate. Well, not really pissed but annoyed. The room stinks and I’m pretty sure it’s not my fault. Today, when I was on my way to my soccer match, my roommate took my shin guards that I left on the floor but she said it was hers because both of ours look the same. She told me the day before she couldn’t find them but she still insisted it was hers. I honestly wasn’t in the mood to argue so I went to buy another pair. It doesn’t seem like a big deal really, but I guess I’m holding a tiny grudge against that. Hopefully I’ll get over that.

Really there’s been nothing else interesting going on. I mean, it’s school. What’s supposed to happen? (Not anything that would really interest you.)

Yours sincerely,

The Anon

Stressed as Hell

I feel like an awful person. I haven’t blogged in so long. Well, at least in my standards. School is so annoying, during holidays you’re so bored and then when you get back to school you barely have any time to relax. The amount of homework I get at my new school is horrifying. There’s barely any time to complete it. Then add in my soccer practices and meetings, I almost have no free time.

But did I tell you? I’m in the JV soccer team! I’m so proud of myself, but I still got to improve if I don’t want to get cut. It would suck. I wish I have more news to add, but I don’t.

The stupid thing is at my boarding school is that they have this rule called ‘Lights out by 10:30’, which means exactly what it sounds. With the amount of homework we get there’s no way I can finish all of it by 10:30, it’s stressful. I only get back from soccer at 5:30 and I have to shower and eat. I’d like to sleep early, but I have my homework and grades to keep up with. It’s an ongoing conflict and I’m only a freshman! I don’t even want to imagine the work I’d get as a senior.

I actually have this essay I have to write for english right now, so I should really start that.

Sincerely,

The Anon

Settling In

I haven’t posted in so long. Sorry about that, I’ve been super busy.

So what happened was we got to New York a day later than we were supposed to. That was because we missed the flight by 20 minutes. The reason for that was the machine stopped working because we were (literally) a minute late and we had to line up for assistance. By the time it was our turn we were too late.

I love New York at night.

Moving on. 

Lady Liberty herself.

New York was everything I imagined it to be. It was just amazing. I recognized so many places from movies (friends with benefits) and tv shows (gossip girl). We went shopping every day from day to night, no stopping. My legs were about to fall off and I’m pretty sure I left my dad broke (oops!). We watched a broadway show (Pippin) on the last night and the atmosphere was incredible. Although the start was great, it went downhill after the intermission. I wasn’t too happy with that, but it was still good, I almost cried. (No kidding. I always wanted to go to New York and watch a broadway performance.)

 

Now I’m in school. The school’s breathtaking, but I don’t know anyone here. You see, I’m not a very sociable person. I’d rather have people approach me than the other way around and that’s not going to happen. I’m 30 minutes away from dinner time and my parents are out shopping. I really have no one to sit with, which is terrible. I know I should go and meet some people but I just can’t be bothered. But my roommate’s moving in tomorrow morning so hopefully that’ll get me somewhere.

Other than that, the school’s pretty amazing and I really love it, which is a great thing. So I’ll keep you guys updated on what happens, I’ve got a busy day tomorrow. Right now, I’m just going to try and make some friends. (I’ll probably end up scaring them off.) Oh, and it’s super hot in my dorm and there’s no AC or fan. Who knew it was so hot in Connecticut in September?

Out for now.

 

Sincerely,

The Anon